Growing up, I always felt that I was meant from something more. More challenges, more people to surround me, more opportunities, and I always knew that I would never find that “more” from where I was…good ‘ol Bangor, PA.
For the longest time I blamed my hometown for holding me back and for making me feel stuck. Granted, you have to drive ATLEAST 30 minutes to get to the closest mall, grocery store, movie theater or really any civilization, but looking back now, I would not have wanted to grow up anywhere else. Bangor is small and everyone knows each other and each other’s business, but it was quaint and legitimately beautiful. After living near and working in NYC for nearly three months now, I’ve been finding myself craving the winding back roads and sprawling country landscape of Bangor.
Lately I just can’t stop thinking about how grateful I am to have grown up in such an amazing place. I, like so many others before and after me, “escaped” the confinement of Bangor to live my life elsewhere. I think that since Bangor is such a small town, we look at it like a sort of prison, but it’s true. You can’t really do a lot there, at least not with what I want to do. I need to be in the city and I’ve known this since my Freshman year of HS, maybe even earlier. But even though I love the city, I miss my home.
I miss the back roads and the bright stars. I miss the chilly fall nights and driving with the windows down and the music up. I miss the field hockey practices, the mile runs (LOL) and the bus rides home. I miss the Quarry Crew at football games and basketball games. I miss my friends, my best friends, my high school friends who I have (mostly, and unfortunately) lost touch with.
BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT…
This new life that I am creating for myself is going to be so good. All of the things that I’ve done, the people I’ve met, the failures I’ve endured…they are forming me into who I am, and I really am starting to love and respect myself. I’m not going to Montclair to party or blow off school work. I’m going because there is a train station on campus that takes me straight into the city, which has been my dream for as long as I can remember. I’m making opportunities for myself because I have the means to now and because I know that I can. My mom recently told me, actually this morning over coffee on Christopher Street, “I try not to dwell on the past because that’s time wasted where I could be happy about the right now.”
This post has really been all over the place, but if you take one thing from it please take this; remember your home and do not take it for granted. Think of a couple of reasons as to why you love it and hold onto those reasons. I 100% believe that Bangor/the Lehigh Valley gave me so many reasons to leave, that it motivated me to work as hard as I am working today. I don’t know, maybe I’m just missing my home and my family so much that my subconscious pushed me to write this post…either way, I don’t care. I’m just grateful.